


under your skin

by pymtron



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: AKA Thomas gets mistaken for Laf and runs with it, Alexander is a dipshit, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enthusiastic Consent, Fake Lafayette, First Time, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Unsafe Binding Habits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:55:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pymtron/pseuds/pymtron
Summary: alexander mistakes thomas for lafayette and thomas is enough of an asshole to run with the lie. he ends up a little in over his head.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wow so i just got into hamilton about a month ago and i'm so starved for jamilton content (with trans alexander ofc) and i really love fake laf AUs so here's this. rating will probably go up as more chapters are added ;-)

Alexander tugged the elastic hairband out of his hair, cursing softly when it got stuck for a moment. His hair was notoriously unruly, especially during finals, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to get knots in it. He recalled a particular incident in middle school where he had decided to tie his hair up with a rubber band and got it so stuck that he sat in a chair crying while John cut all of his hair off. Never again.

 

He had been in the library for God knows how long—all he knew was that the sun had set, risen, and now it had to have been midday or nearing early evening. He could use a break, sure, but these final papers weren’t going to write themselves.

 

Alexander was 19, a junior and majoring in economics, having started college slightly younger since he had graduated high school early. It was nearing the end of his first semester of that year, the New York weather absolutely horrendous and freezing which had kept him inside for the past two weeks. He didn’t quite mind anyway, since he had so much work to do.

 

Alexander wasn’t the most social creature on campus but it had been quite a while since he had been able to hang out with his friends, save for John who he roomed with. John, however, was Pre-Med, and had his own special kind of hell for finals so Alexander hadn’t seen much of him either.

 

He fixed his hair up in a low ponytail again as he got up and stretched, locking his laptop and starting to make his way over to the small café inside the library. He needed a gigantic cup of espresso (that’s right, just espresso) this instant. The barista gave him a look as he ordered his drink, but Alexander shrugged almost sheepishly and explained he hadn’t slept in three days.

 

As Alexander came back to his table, he noticed a familiar face at the table in front of his—or, well, the back of their head. He smiled and grabbed his laptop to plop down at Lafayette’s table, exclaiming surprise at seeing the Frenchman in the library. Laf wasn’t huge on studying and if he did he was in his dorm under a pile of blankets reading a book.

 

He greeted Laf in French (they usually spoke exclusively in the language when it was just the two of them—Alexander was fluent) who looked up and gave him somewhat of an uncharacteristic look, like he might have been irritated, but Alexander wrote it off as his friend being tired. He could relate to that. Lafayette was wearing a simple t-shirt and his hair was drawn up in the usual ponytail. Somehow he always succeeded in being damn handsome without an ounce of effort.

 

Alexander took a sip from his drink and asked Lafayette how he’d been, asked how Hercules was as well. It was only after that that Laf’s expression softened, and he told Alexander that things had just been busy, that he missed hanging out with the set. Laf and Hercules were roommates—most assumed they were dating but no one ever wanted to ask—but they lived several halls away from John and Alexander and their schedules lately hadn’t matched up enough for the four of them to hang out.

 

“When are you free? I haven’t really eaten in the past three days.” Alexander suggested, finally giving into the painful pleas of his empty stomach. 

 

“I just got here but I can always study later…” Laf seemed rather taken aback that Alexander hadn’t eaten, but then again his friends always got mad at him about that. It was almost commonplace for Alexander during exams and finals to forget to eat or even take care of himself in general. After having stood up and sat back down, he realized how much pain his body was in. It was also commonplace for Alexander to wear his binder for longer than he was supposed to, but no one was about to convince him to do otherwise. 

 

He wasn’t out to many people, in fact, only the guys, Eliza, and Angelica knew. He’d prefer to keep it that way considering how much his dysphoria affected him—and there was always that constant fear that everyone knew, that every person he interacted with saw him as a girl. He knew deep down that wasn’t true, that he had been on T for almost four years now and his ability to grow some pretty damn good facial hair had saved his life. That still didn’t stop dysphoria in general, especially since he hadn’t had the time or money for top surgery. 

 

Alexander had lost himself in thought so much so that he didn’t hear Laf speak at first. He caught the end of a sentence and adjusted the glasses that were falling down the bridge of his nose. “Sorry, what?”

 

“Food, Alexander.” This time Laf spoke in English, his heavy French accent showing through. “Let me take you to get lunch and then you should go home and sleep a while.”

 

Alexander grumbled, agreeing reluctantly to his friend’s offer. They packed all their things up and Alexander slipped his backpack over his shoulders. As they walked outside, Alexander looked up at Lafayette and swore he seemed taller, but that was probably just his anxiety. Alexander was only 5 foot 7 and he  _ hated it _ , the fact only serving to make his dysphoria worse.

 

Lunch went well, save for when Alexander tried to get a banana and a bag of chips and nothing else. Laf scolded him and made him get a sandwich and even a granola bar, buying the food on his own meal plan when Alexander huffed and puffed about it.

 

When they were done eating, Laf pulled his phone out and slid it over to Alexander, the screen opened to the “Create New Contact” screen. “I got a new phone, by the way.” He said with a small smile, Alexander taking the phone to put his number in. He put his name in as “A. Ham,” tacking a sassy emoji to the end. 

 

“That’s very cute, Alexander.” Laf said when he got his phone back, rolling his eyes and slipping his phone back into his pocket. They both stood to leave and Alexander gave Laf a big hug, the Frenchman taking a few seconds to return the gesture. “Take it easy, won’t you?”

 

“I can’t promise anything.” Alexander grinned and scurried away once he pulled away from the hug.

 

Alexander for once listened to his friend’s advice and headed back to his dorm. He stopped by the hall’s lounge to say hi to John, who was neck deep in books and papers as he worked on a project with another Pre-Med student. Alexander got upstairs and unlocked the door to his room, groaning as he flopped down onto his bed face first. 

 

It was but a moment later he had to get up, pulling his hoodie and shirt off and with some difficulty, his binder. He was so sore and he couldn’t help but wince as he applied pressure to his right side. Bruised again, huh.

 

After a quick shower Alexander slipped on a loose t-shirt and boxer briefs, getting under the covers with his laptop. About twenty minutes into some light studying he felt his phone vibrate somewhere, and he nearly fell off the bed trying to find it (it was hidden in the blankets near his left leg.) It was a number he didn’t know, but the subject matter of the text told him exactly who it was. He couldn’t help but smile.

 

_ Did you take my advice, Alexander? _

 

Alexander considered that for a moment. This was, essentially, his personal definition of “taking it easy.” He may have been studying still, but he was out of his binder, showered, and under warm blankets. 

 

**The best part is that you have no way of knowing if I’m lying to you or not when I tell you yes.**

 

_ So unsettling! ;( _

 

**I actually showered and now I’m in bed, for your information.**

 

_ Studying? _

 

**You bet.**

 

Alexander giggled to himself and set his phone aside for the time being, wanting to get through these last few paragraphs before settling in for a nap. God knows he needed it.

 

Meanwhile, Thomas Jefferson stared down at his phone screen at the small conversation he had just had with Alexander, that little bastard who hated him so much, and he wondered in that moment what the hell he was getting himself into. But lying was easy, and maybe messing with Alexander for a while would be fun.

  
_ Just a little while _ , he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thomas digs himself a deeper hole, and alexander falls right in with him.

The weekend had been, for John and Alexander, completely filled with studying, all-nighters, and microwavable macaroni & cheese cups. It was currently 9:45 in the morning on Monday, and Alexander had just gotten out of his first final exam. It was for his French Culture course, which turned out to be as easy as he expected. It was the one exam he hadn’t studied much for.

 

There was a small subject of irritation during the exam in the form of that insufferable Thomas Jefferson, a senior who was obsessed with France and was always trying to one-up Alexander in class and any other way possible. Thomas Jefferson and his stupid hair and his stupid glasses and his stupid southern accent. Alexander wished he didn’t have to deal with the man, but Angelica was close friends with him so he always heard stories and he was  _ always _ at the parties Alexander showed up to sometimes. It’s not that Thomas was a bad person exactly, Alexander just hated his guts. And being in his presence was his own personal hell. A personal hell which, Alexander had the displeasure of experiencing several times per week in his French Culture and French Translation courses. 

 

Thomas was seated behind him during the exam, and Alexander could have sworn he felt the bastard’s gaze on him the entire time. He would’ve gotten up and punched him right in the face, but he settled for getting through the exam as quickly and efficiently as possible, collecting his things and leaving (but not before shooting Thomas a nasty glare.)

 

He thought he was out of the woods until he heard someone come up next to him, and he turned to grimace at Thomas, who stuck his tongue out at him. “Think you did well on the exam, Alexander?” Thomas asked teasingly, Alexander hating the way his name sounded in his accent.

 

“I’m sure I did better than you.” Alexander started to walk faster to possibly shake him.

 

“You’ll have to let me know when we get grades back.” Thomas winked at him and waved him goodbye, walking in a different direction now. Alexander assumed that Thomas didn’t want to spend much time around him either. 

 

They both knew about their disdain for each other, thanks to Angelica. They both talked crap about the other constantly to their friend, and she wasn’t about to pick sides so she in turn constantly told the both of them to get over it. Alexander couldn’t exactly shake Thomas’ petty personality and teasing and insults, and Thomas wasn’t about to forget about the time a very disgruntled Alexander stood in the quad with a megaphone telling everyone what a scumbag he was. No no.

 

And maybe that was why Thomas was pretending to be Lafayette. It was really awful and he had considered about a million ways this might come back to bite him in the ass, but the opportunity to dig up some info on Alexander to get back at him was too great.

 

Once Alexander was out of sight, Thomas shot him a text.

 

_ Salut Alexander :) Do you want to get lunch later? _

 

Alexander, still flustered and walking briskly to his dorm, felt his phone vibrate and pulled it from his pocket to see the text.

 

**Sure, I’m heading back home, John and I can meet you somewhere?**

 

_ How about just you and I today? _

 

Alexander’s face flushed, his brow furrowing slightly. Lafayette had never said anything like that to him before. Usually the more of the set the merrier, but he just wanted to hang out with him this time? Alexander’s hands trembled as he typed out a response.

 

**Tht kind of sounds like a dste Laf**

***That**

***date**

**Fuck**

 

_ Would you be offended if that was my intention? _

 

Alexander at this point had to stop to sit down on a bench. His face was so red and his hands were shaking as he read the message over and over again. Sure he had a small crush on Lafayette; he had crushes on a few people. But he never expected anyone to return his feelings, and certainly not Laf who he assumed was dating Hercules. Obviously he was not.

 

He blinked hard and tried to refocus on his screen.

 

**No no no no. Lunch with you sounds really nice.**

 

Laf told Alexander he had an exam in a few minutes and to meet him at the Student Union at 12:15. Alexander agreed and when he went back to his dorm, he nearly screamed when he saw John sitting at his desk. “What’s wrong?” John asked, bewildered.

 

“I think Laf just asked me on a date. What the hell do I do?!”

 

“Uh. OH. Oh God, Alexander. I don’t know. What did you say?”

 

“I said yes! Of course I said yes. Have you seen that man lately?”

 

“...He’s really hot.”

 

“I know! But he’s one of my best friends! How does this work?”

 

After a lot of panicking and John trying to get Alexander to settle down, John dressed him in some nice jeans and a button-up shirt, taking his hair out of its ponytail and brushing it out. He pulled back to examine his work, nodding in approval. Alexander blushed and pushed him out of the way. “Okay, wish me luck. If I’m not back in two hours just assume I jumped into the Hudson. Don’t look for my body, John. It’s for the best.”

 

“Okay, Alexander.” John gave him a pat on the back and ushered him out the door after giving him his coat.

 

Alexander listened to music on his walk down to the Student Union and it definitely calmed his nerves. That was, until he saw Lafayette looking damn handsome as usual, a big yarn scarf around his neck that really complimented his navy blue peacoat. And his eyes. And his face. And everything. 

 

“Hi.” Alexander said softly as Lafayette smiled at him, offering a hello right back. They grabbed some food from one of the little restaurants and sat down in a quieter part of the Union. Alexander’s mind was spilling over with questions, and Laf could obviously tell because he asked what was on his mind the second they sat down together.

 

“I just didn’t really expect this.” Alexander confessed, looking into those soft brown eyes. He’d never taken the time to really look at Lafayette before, really take in his features. He was damn handsome, sure, but if you really got a good look at him he was so much more than that. Alexander started to think up sentences and verses to write to Lafayette in letters and poems. “How long have you..?” He tilted his head slightly, not sure how to finish his query.

 

“A long time, I just never had the courage to tell you.” Lafayette offered his own confession, and the pair was silent for a few moments.

 

“You know I’m not exactly dating material.”

 

“Why do you say that?” Laf cocked an eyebrow, and Alexander drew into himself a bit.

 

“I talk too much. I’m kind of an asshole.” He started to count on his fingers. “I have almost no dating experience. I’ll write you love letters. And refuse to come out of my dorm most of the time so all of our dates from here on out would have to be in my bed.”

 

Alexander paused and then his face turned red. Oh god that came out so wrong. “And by in my bed I mean us sitting in my bed watching CNN.”

 

Laf’s expression was unreadable for a moment before he responded. “Alexander, you’re one of my closest friends. You know I always take the good with the bad. And I don’t think there’s anything bad about love letters and CNN.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.”

 

Their little date continued as any normal outing would; and Alexander never felt awkward or uncomfortable. Lafayette told him a few stories he had never heard before, and he couldn’t stop laughing. They talked about life and politics and France and every once in a while one of them would say something that made the other blush. Alexander felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. 

 

Eventually Alexander had to get to class, so Lafayette walked him there, continuing their conversation about the current state of the government. Alexander started going off on a tangent about Donald Trump, something he usually tried not to talk about because it gave him headaches, but he was in a talking mood which meant he couldn’t  _ stop  _ talking.

 

When they got to the hall Alexander’s class was in, he took a deep breath and regained his composure, thanking Laf for lunch and getting up on his tip toes as he hugged the Frenchman. He lingered for a good several seconds and Lafayette returned the hug, even kissing the top of Alexander’s head before they both pulled away. 

  
“Text me after your class,  _ mon cher _ .” Laf said as he walked away with a wave, and it was in that moment Alexander knew he was a goner.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secret's out!

The next few days, Thomas was going out with Alexander whenever the both of them had time. He knew this whole situation was ridiculous, that he wasn't going to be able to keep it up, but at some point during that first date everything stopped being funny. Sure Alexander could be abrasive and irritating but Thomas had never realized how intellectual he was. He was full of stories and ideas and Thomas knew he had a bright future ahead of him. He wanted to get into the government, he aspired to be the secretary of the treasury someday. Those were big dreams and somehow Thomas knew he’d achieve them eventually.

 

Thomas hadn’t made many things up during their conversations, in fact he was mostly honest with Alexander with his stories and opinions, only changing a few minor details. He wasn’t sure on Lafayette’s political affiliation, but all of Alexander’s friends were democrats and he had ran with that. He hadn’t been questioned about it yet so he must have been right in his assumption.

 

Alexander’s last final was today, whereas Thomas had finished yesterday. Alexander had invited him over  _ to his dorm _ , where Thomas was hoping and praying his roommate wasn’t. Alexander may have been easily fooled but he couldn’t be so sure about John.

 

Thomas finished putting his contacts in and drew his hair up in a ponytail, a hairstyle he admittedly didn’t care for but apparently it made him look like Lafayette. “Where are you headed?” James asked as Thomas passed him in the living room. His roommate was sitting on the couch studying for his last final in a few hours.

 

“Uhhhhh. A date.” Thomas hesitated to tell him.

 

“Are you ever going to tell me who this mystery guy is?” James looked up from the book he was reading, cocking an eyebrow at Thomas. He didn't care all that much, but Thomas usually overshared so it was strange for him to be so secretive. 

 

“It's kind of complicated.”

 

“I thought Thomas Jefferson didn't do complicated.”

 

“I don't.” Thomas plopped down on the couch so he could talk with James for a while. Maybe it would be nice to talk about the shitshow he'd created with Alexander. “Promise not to laugh?”

 

James just deadpanned and stared at him. 

 

“Okay, okay! Jesus you're scary sometimes Jemmy.” Thomas leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. “So you know Alexander Hamilton?”

 

“Oh, Thomas. No.”

 

“It's worse than that. He kind of mistook me for that Lafayette guy and I guess I thought it would be funny to run with it. And we started going on dates because Alexander apparently has a raging boner for the dude. I thought it was funny at first but now I actually think I have feelings for him and I have no idea what to do.”

 

James took all of the information in, his expression never changing. Thomas looked at him expectantly. James was always insightful and good at giving advice. 

 

“Thomas, you’re my best friend and I love you but this is the stupidest thing you have ever done. And I've known you for years.” James shook his head and set his book down so he could give Thomas his full attention. “I know you aren't a bad guy, but it's not right for you to keep this up. You need to tell him before this gets even more out of hand than it already has.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You're going to see him now?”

 

“Tell him the truth. You can't keep this going.” James insisted.

 

Thomas got up to slip his coat and scarf on and started his walk from his apartment to Alexander’s dorm. It took him about 20 minutes and by the end of his walk he was practically a popsicle. He found Alexander’s dorm and went to knock, but the door opened before his knuckles could connect and John was shoved right into him, Alexander yelling “get out of here!” 

 

John met eyes with Thomas and he panicked a little, John giving him the most confused look. “Uh...you guys have fun…” He obviously didn't know what to say and Alexander wasn't about to listen, so he shot Thomas a venomous glare and went on his way. 

 

Alexander pulled Thomas into the room and gave him a big hug once the door was closed. He was dressed down compared to how he had dressed on their little dates, wearing some black patterned joggers and a gray t-shirt. His hair was down and he was wearing his glasses, and Thomas had never seen him so relaxed. 

 

“Sorry. He didn't want to leave.” Alexander said, and Thomas shook his head. 

 

“It's okay. Just you and I now, right  _ petit chou _ ?”

 

“Yeah. You wanna watch CNN?”

 

Thomas agreed (god it pained him to, the network was so damn biased) and Alexander pulled the covers down the bed so they could get in and get under them. Thomas found that his heart was racing, even more so as Alexander glued himself to his side and put his head on Thomas’ chest. 

 

This was  _ bad _ . 

 

Thomas knew this had gone too far, but he didn't know what to do or say. He was digging himself a deeper hole by the second. 

 

“You know you're the first person I've ever managed to get past a third date with.” Alexander mused as he traced a finger over Thomas’ shoulder, drawing shapes into the fabric of his shirt. It felt so nice. 

 

“The first person?” Thomas asked, which was strange considering Alexander’s reputation for being with so many people. 

 

“I mean, I kind of put up an act but I've never been with anyone before. I can't say I've ever held a steady relationship or anything. And I'm a virgin.”

 

“Oh.” Thomas felt his heart racing in his rib cage, threatening to burst out at any moment. 

 

“Sorry, I should have told you, I just—I've always been so scared to have sex and whatever—” He shook his head and buried his face in Thomas’ chest. “I'm always afraid of being seen differently.”

 

“What do you mean?” Thomas asked curiously. 

 

“I mean, I don't want to be seen as a girl or anything.”

 

Oh. 

 

_ Oh.  _

 

Thomas’ heart stopped when he realized that was certainly something not meant for his ears. He was pretty sure his soul left his body after that because then Alexander was kissing him, entwining their fingers and trying to push himself closer to Thomas. 

 

That's when Thomas decided that he was going straight to hell for this already, but it was time to stop and tell Alexander the truth. 

 

“Alexander. Alexander.” He spoke in his real accent this time, pulling away and pushing him away at the same time. “It's Thomas. I'm Thomas.”

 

Alexander cracked a goofy little smile. “Yeah, really good impression, Laf.” 

 

Thomas groaned and shook his head. “No, you blockhead. I'm Thomas. I'm not fucking joking.”

 

Alexander’s expression changed so drastically in a matter of seconds and he looked like he was on the verge of tears or screaming or maybe both—and almost immediately he was yelling and pushing Thomas out of the bed. 

 

“What the fuck, Jefferson?!” Alexander’s face was red out of embarrassment and anger, feeling so disgusted with himself that he believed even for a second that Thomas could have possibly been Lafayette. He felt like such an idiot. “You—it's been you the whole fucking time?!”

 

“Alexander, I—I know I really fucked up—I didn't know what to do. I couldn't stop.” Thomas didn’t mean to make excuses but they spilled out anyway.

 

“You could've stopped it from the beginning when I thought you were Lafayette at the library!”

 

“I know, I...I wanted to fuck with you at first, I'll be honest—”

 

“Fuck you, Jefferson!”

 

“I deserve that.” Thomas spoke calmly but he felt like crying just as much as Alexander was right now. “But at some point I got feelings for you. And that part’s real, Alexander. I swear.”

 

“Don't you  _ dare _ , Thomas. God I can't believe—” Alexander wanted to throw up. He ran his hands through his hair and tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. He had told Thomas  _ so much.  _ And now he knew that he was trans on top of all that. And on top of  _ that _ , he had just kissed him.

 

“Listen, I don't expect you to forgive me—”

 

“I'm not going to! I don't want to see you ever again!” Alexander started to push Thomas out the door, slamming it behind him and grabbing his phone to call John, telling him to come back home. 

 

Alexander was so confused and heartbroken that he didn't know what to do; he settled for laying on the floor of the bathroom until John came back. His friend pulled him up off the floor and got him into pajamas, unfortunately unable to convince him to take his binder off. 

 

Alexander pulled John into bed with him and John pulled him into his arms without hesitation. It wasn't very often they did this but when one of them was down, the other would always be there for them. John let Alexander vent and cry all he wanted, gently petting his hair until he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's christmas. new beginnings and all that.

Normally Alexander stayed on campus for winter break, not having any family to go home to, but this time John insisted he come home with him to Charleston. Alexander loved the warm weather, having grown up in Nevis. He had been to South Carolina with John for a few holidays, but John’s parents weren't the nicest and Alexander wasn't a fan of them either. But again, John had insisted he didn't want Alexander to be alone after the whole thing with Thomas, and Alexander couldn't disagree with him. 

 

Alexander did some financial work for John’s family and his father’s business over winter break, anything he could do to earn some money. He loved the work, and it kept his mind off things. Things meaning that rat bastard Thomas Jefferson. Alexander of course didn’t speak to him most of winter break, but that didn’t stop him from thinking about Thomas at night, when his mind was otherwise unoccupied. He thought about how well they had gotten along, but then again all of that could have been a lie. It had to have been, right? Thomas had always hated him. He hated him.

 

_ “At some point I got feelings for you. And that part’s real.” _

 

Alexander tightened his grip on his pillow and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push any and all thoughts of Thomas from his mind. 

 

It worked well enough until Christmas morning when he received a text from an unknown number.

 

_ Hey. I hope you have a Merry Christmas _

 

After another glance, Alexander realized it was a number he had seen before, just deleted from his contacts. He felt his heart start to beat faster, and he thought up a million reasons not to text back. He looked down at his phone to see another message.

 

_ Listen, Alexander, I’m sorry about everything _

 

And another, a few minutes later.

 

_ I know what I did was seriously fucked up and I wouldn’t forgive me either. I actually don’t even know why I’m typing this out but I just wanted to tell you that I’ve been thinking about you a lot the past couple weeks and I really do miss you. I swear all the things I said to you weren’t lies. If anything I showed you the real me with the...exception of the Lafayette thing. I’m sorry again I feel so horrible about this _

 

_ If I could go back and change what I did I would if it meant I didn’t ever have to see you cry _

 

Alexander sat up and brushed some hair from his face as he read through Thomas’ messages. He teared up a little as he came to terms with the fact that maybe he really did have feelings for Thomas, and even though he really hurt Alexander he was willing to forgive him. And that was something coming from him, the person who held the worst grudges imaginable.

 

It took him a good ten minutes to finally reply to Thomas, wiping tears from his eyes before he could type anything.

 

**I forgive you.**

 

_ You do? _

 

**I do. I really really like you I didn’t want to admit it to myself but I really fucking like you Thomas. You’re not the person I thought you were**

 

_ A rat bastard, right? _

 

**You bet.**

 

Alexander smiled down at his screen.

 

**I have to go have breakfast and open presents with John’s family. Can I call you later?**

 

**I want to start over.**

 

_ Sure. Me too. _

 

**Okay. Merry Christmas Thomas.**

 

_ Merry Christmas, Alexander. :) _

 

Alexander slipped his binder on under his pajama shirt before heading out to the living room to find John, who was already eating the hors devours for dinner, much to everyone’s chagrin. They sat down to open presents, and Alexander was surprised to receive a few gifts—a few of course from John, one from his parents, and even one from Martha, his little sister. Books and gift cards were all he ever needed in life.

 

John had gotten him a beautiful leather-bound notebook and a real quill pen, something Alexander had been talking about for a while now. Alexander wasn’t the greatest gift giver, but he got John some nice art supplies (art was a hobby of his when he wasn’t too busy with science experiments) which John ended up being more excited about than any of his other presents.

 

They ate breakfast and Alexander had a pretty good time. John’s extended family wasn’t so bad, and his grandmother absolutely adored him. After an early dinner Alexander and John went to go hang out in the basement, where Alexander immediately brought up his conversation with Thomas earlier.

 

“I don’t trust him, Alexander.” John said, noticeably apprehensive about the whole thing. He didn’t know Thomas well besides what he’d heard from friends, and he made a terrible impression just from that. “But I’m not going to tell you what to do. I know if he hurts you again you’ll nail a written callout post to the door of the dean.”

 

“That’s right.” Alexander nodded furiously. He understood why John was worried.

 

They talked for a long time about life and politics and science, as they usually would when they had free time. He loved deep conversations with John, someone who understood him more than anyone else. At the end of the night, however, Alexander was itching to talk to Thomas. John finally decided to head to bed, and he gave Alexander a big hug before heading to his room. Alexander stayed in the basement and pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing Thomas’ number and waiting for him to answer.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Thomas? Hey, it’s Alexander.”

 

“Hey you. How was your Christmas?”

 

“It was great, actually. John got me this leather-bound notebook and a black quill pen with a bunch of fancy ink. And I got along really well with his family. His grandmother was trying to give me money.” Alexander laughed, his face red from being nervous, but luckily Thomas couldn’t see as he started rambling. “I almost got into a political argument with John’s dad but he stopped it before I started yelling. How was your Christmas?”

 

Alexander couldn’t help but smile when Thomas laughed in response, the gesture so warm and genuine that made him wish Thomas was there with him. 

 

“It was great. I always love spending time with my family.”

 

“Do you have siblings?” Alexander realized he didn’t know all that much about Thomas’ personal life after he posed the question. 

 

“I have seven, actually. Six sisters and a baby brother.”

 

Alexander told Thomas about his estranged brother, which led to them talking about their parents and family in general. Thomas’ father had died a few years back, so it was just his mother and siblings, his extended family living all the way in England. Thomas wasn’t out to his family yet, obviously a very socially conservative group of people. Thomas was a republican but Alexander was surprised to find out he was more of a moderate than anything. 

 

“Maybe we’ll be able to get along.” Alexander joked.

 

“Considering how passionate we both are about politics and government, I doubt that.” 

 

They talked on the phone for hours into the night, Alexander unable to stop laughing and blushing the whole time. Thomas was so funny and he was intellectual too, just like him—he was surprised at how well they got along. Maybe if the circumstances were different they would’ve been friends earlier.

 

After they got off the phone, Alexander just fell asleep on the couch, a blanket pulled over him. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically just mindless fluff

Alexander pushed the top drawer of his dresser shut and looked around the room, his arms folded. He and John had been able to move into a new, larger dorm room for the spring semester and it was infinitely better. They even had air conditioning, not that they needed it yet. 

 

“Looks good, don't you think?” John asked, sitting down on his bed and looking around the room. 

 

“There's a lot of white space. We need more posters. But other than that it's pretty cool.” Alexander smiled a goofy little smile, and goodness was the expression contagious. 

 

John was happy that Alexander was happy—things had been hard for him the past few years but in the past weeks he seemed to be doing great. They were excited about the new semester, with lots of major intensive classes for the both of them. 

 

Classes didn't start for another few days, so once he and John were all settled in, Alexander’s next priority was seeing Thomas. They had been talking every day, whether it be texting or talking on the phone, and while they flirted casually every once in a while, they didn't talk about their feelings for each other since Christmas. Alexander didn't mind of course. He and Thomas got along so well he wished they would have become friends earlier, and he wished he hadn't held such an intense grudge for Thomas for so long. He felt like he wasted so much time being bitter for no good reason. 

 

Alexander slipped his coat and scarf on, along with a hat over his hair that he had left out of a ponytail. His hair was longer than usual; he definitely would want a haircut soon. He said goodbye to John and headed outside, the frigid wind hitting him as soon as he opened the door. Gotta love New York in January. 

 

Alexander realized upon knocking at Thomas’ apartment door that he forgot to tell him he was coming. Thomas knew he was moving in today, but they hadn't talked aside from that. 

 

James Madison opened the door and narrowed his eyes upon seeing Alexander. “What do you want?”

 

“Uh. Hi James. Is Thomas here?” Alexander smiled, hoping to keep things with James as civil as possible. He didn't dislike James but the guy certainly didn't seem to like him very much.

 

“Yeah. Come in.” James said, opening the door wider for Alexander, who walked in with a soft “thank you.”

 

James pointed him in the direction of Thomas’ room and Alexander gently pushed the door open, smiling wide when he saw Thomas. Thomas was laying on his bed, propped up on his elbows with a book. 

 

Thomas looked up, expecting James, but was surprised to see Alexander in the doorway. He immediately set down his book and started to get up but Alexander was on him in a split second, wrapping his arms around Thomas in a hug. 

 

“Hello to you too, handsome.” Thomas chuckled, and Alexander felt so warm just from hearing his voice. 

 

“Hi.” Alexander replied, grin evident in his voice.

 

“You didn't tell me you were coming.”

 

“I surprised you, didn't I?” Alexander pulled away to look at Thomas, who reached up to gently hold Alexander’s face in his hands. 

 

Alexander met eyes with him and smiled again, the smallest blush dusting his cheeks. He thought about kissing Thomas for about three seconds before he acted on that thought, closing the distance between them. He was going to count this as their first kiss, considering the fact that Alexander was under the impression he was kissing Lafayette the first time. 

 

Thomas responded eagerly; after all he'd been waiting to kiss Alexander for a month now. He slid both hands down to wrap around Alexander’s waist, pulling him into his lap like it was nothing. Alexander made a soft noise but wouldn't dare pull away, finally being able to take his time and kiss Thomas. His lips were so damn soft and warm and Alexander wanted to melt into a puddle right there. 

  
When they needed to stop to breathe, Alexander pressed his forehead to Thomas' and closed his eyes.   
  
"Hey." Thomas said softly, and Alexander hummed in response.    
  
"I know you don't really do the whole dating thing very often, but I'm single and looking for a boy named Alexander Hamilton. You know him?" Thomas pulled back to look at Alexander, all smirks.    
  
"I think I might've met him before. Do you want me to tell him you like him?" Alexander brushed some hair behind his ear.    
  
"Oh...I think he knows. Can you just ask him if he wants to be my boyfriend?"   
  
"I don't have to." Alexander grinned and pulled Thomas in by the shirt for more kisses.   
  
After James had come by the room just to shut Thomas' door, not being able to stand the sound of the two giggling, Thomas and Alexander cuddled up to each other on top of the covers. They talked about nothing and everything for a couple hours, until Alexander finally breached the subject of something that had been making him anxious.    
  
"Hey Thomas?"   
  
"Yeah?" Thomas pressed a kiss to Alexander's forehead and smoothed some hair out of his face.    
  
"You don't see me differently since you found out I'm trans, right?" Alexander felt so awkward asking the question. He wasn't out to anyone but a few people so he barely ever talked about it. He usually kept all his worries regarding passing and dysphoria in general inside, not even talking to John about it most of the time.   
  
Thomas' tone was serious as he replied. "Of course not, Alexander." He was surprised Alexander had brought this up; it was the first time since he vaguely mentioned it the last time they had seen each other in person. Thomas had nearly forgotten. "I like you for you. Every part of you."   
  
Alexander nodded, embarrassed that he needed the validation but happy regardless. "I'm a little self-conscious about it so I might ask stuff like that a lot. I'm s—"   
  
"Don't apologize, darlin'. I understand." Thomas kissed his cheek. “I could never see you as anything but male. I mean look at this.” He tickled his beard and Alexander screamed. 

 

Alexander leaned forward to rest his forehead on Thomas’ shoulder, wrapping his arms around him tight. He still couldn't quite believe this was real, that this was happening.He wouldn't change it for the world. 

 

“What are you thinking about?” Thomas asked, rubbing Alexander’s back absentmindedly. 

 

“Nothing, I'm just...just happy.” 

 

“Me too darlin’.” 

 

They lay like that for god only knows how long, until it was dark enough that Thomas insisted he walk Alexander home. It was freezing out and Thomas gave him some gloves to borrow. As they walked back onto campus, Alexander reached for Thomas’ hand, their fingers entwining so easily it would have made them both blush if it weren't for both their faces already being red from the cold. 

 

Alexander was so hopeful about this semester—he had great classes, a new dorm room, and a boyfriend now for the first time in his life. A boyfriend who accepted him unconditionally, which is something he never even thought he'd find. 

 

They got into Alexander’s building and stood in the lobby for a while as Thomas recovered from the cold. “We’ll have to go on a real date soon. This weekend?”

 

“I'm not sure if I can wait that long.” Thomas grinned, and Alexander grabbed both his hands, pulling him closer. 

 

“I'll send you my schedule and we can see if we can get lunch sometime this week. I don't think I can wait that long either.”

 

“Okay. And Alexander?” Thomas pressed a kiss to his lips, squeezing both his hands. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thanks for giving me a second chance.”

 

Alexander smiled warmly and Thomas pulled him into a big hug, and when they pulled away he caught Aaron Burr walking by giving them both the strangest look as the sophomore started up the stairs. 

 

“We confuse people. I like that.” Thomas laughed, and Alexander started to push him out of the building, his face red again as it had been outside. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spring break and a little surprise from thomas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the delay in updates! i just got back from a convention this weekend :)

Unfortunately Thomas and Alexander’s schedules didn’t match up as well this semester—they didn’t even have a class together. It was Thomas’ last semester, and he had told Alexander about all his plans to take a semester off before going to law school. Alexander felt a selfish satisfaction that Thomas wanted to stay in New York for school. He had no idea what the future held in terms of their new relationship, but Alexander just adored him and he hoped they’d be able to be together for a long time.

 

Alexander found the weeks flying by, and before he knew it Thomas was asking if he wanted to come home with him for spring break to  _ meet his family.  _ He asked Alexander one Friday night they were hanging out in Thomas’ room, both of them doing homework for different classes. Thomas had looked up from his laptop and pushed his glasses up, and Alexander almost choked on air when he posed the question.

 

“Really?” He asked in near-disbelief.

 

“Why not? My mom already loves you.” Thomas grinned. He had met Thomas’ mom, Jane, on FaceTime a few times before, and the woman absolutely adored him. She had gone to school for economics just like him, and in the brief conversations they’d managed to have they bonded over their shared interest. “Besides, I think I’d like my boyfriend to meet my family at some point.”

 

“Yeah. That actually sounds really nice. I usually just stay on campus for spring break anyway.” Alexander nodded after giving it a moment of thought. It would be fun, plus they would get to drive down to Virginia together. 

 

Alexander told John about his plans for spring break when he came home that night, and he saw his friend’s brow furrow. He got quiet and looked down at his phone, and Alexander asked him what was wrong.

 

“Nothing...It’s just that you usually stay here for spring break.” John said, his voice soft and avoiding eye contact with Alexander. 

 

“Hey, I’ll be back in a week, huh? And the guys are staying aren’t they?” Alexander unzipped his jacket and hung it up on the door, coming over to his bed to sit at the edge and take off his shoes.

 

“Yeah.” John half-smiled and looked back down at his phone. 

 

“John, seriously, what’s wrong? Did I do something?”

 

“I’m just...I’m not used to you having a boyfriend and going out all the time. And you’re always busy when the set’s hanging out now and we all miss you. It just feels different.”

 

Alexander felt his heart sink as John spoke, not sure what to say. He knew he had a tendency to focus on one particular thing or person at times, and it took him a lot to notice that he was ignoring everything and everyone else around him. And John felt that way? 

 

“Oh, God John. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—”

 

“It’s fine, I’m being selfish. I’m really happy that you’re happy, Alexander. I want you to go to Virginia and have a good time next week, okay?”

 

“I swear when I get back I’m going to make more time for you guys. You know I love all three of you, right?” Alexander smiled, his heart still pounding from how awful he felt. John just sat up and held his arms out in response.

 

Alexander shuffled over to him and gave him a tight hug, apologizing over and over again. He was glad he and John could have conversations like this and not fight. He and John had never once gotten into a fight in the several years they’d been friends. Alexander knew he was probably a pretty shitty friend most of the time, and he was grateful that John (and Hercules and Laf) put up with him.

 

He went to sleep about an hour later still feeling a little bad. John had insisted everything was fine, but Alexander still knew that he had fucked up and he was going to fix it the second he had the chance. In fact, that next day after everyone was done with classes, Alexander went out to dinner with the set. Everything felt like normal, and they had an amazing time as they always did. That night Lafayette and Hercules  _ finally _ admitted that they were dating, and a very drunk Alexander and John yelled about how they couldn’t wait for them to get married and grow old together. 

 

The yelling eventually got them kicked out of the restaurant, and the four giggling idiots ended up in John and Alexander’s dorm a half hour later, laughing and joking around until they all passed out. Hercules managed to be the only one who ended up sleeping on a bed, the rest of them on the floor.

 

That Thursday was the last day of classes, and Alexander made sure to say goodbye to the set before he headed outside his hall with his backpack and suitcase, waiting for Thomas to pick him up. Thomas had an almost brand new maroon sedan, another reminder that his family was rich as hell. He pulled up to Alexander’s building and got out to help him put his things in the car, hooking an arm around Alexander’s waist and giving him a quick kiss before that.

 

It was a six hour drive down to Charlottesville, and Thomas had made a six hour playlist just for their trip. It was full of music they both liked, and songs that reminded Thomas of Alexander. Some of the songs were corny and Alexander would look over at Thomas or nudge him and laugh about it. They ended up turning the music down pretty fast to talk shit about New Jersey as they drove down the turnpike. They talked until Alexander fell asleep against the window, Thomas’ hand in his.

 

Alexander didn’t wake up until he felt the car stop. He yawned and straightened himself up, a little stiff from the ride. “Are we here already?” He asked sleepily, looking over at Thomas. It was already about dark out, the sun almost ready to dip completely below the horizon.

 

“We’re actually stopping somewhere else first.” Thomas said with a mischievous little grin.

 

Alexander looked out the window, opening his mouth and screaming when he realized where they were. He got out of the car, Thomas following after him. 

 

“Thomas! That’s the Washington Monument over there!” Alexander pointed to the structure in the distance, then went for gesturing with both hands. He was in shock. He’d never been to Washington D.C. and he had just woken up from a nap and ended up there.

 

“You wanna go see it up close?” Thomas grinned, and Alexander nodded, practically jumping on him in excitement. He grabbed Thomas’ face and kissed him, his heart swelling from how romantic and wonderful this was for his boyfriend to do for him. He had mentioned countless times how much he loved history, and how he had never been to the capital.

 

They held hands as they walked to the Washington Monument, Alexander itching with excitement. It was relatively deserted since it was so late, and they took a bunch of goofy selfies in front of the monument, laughing whenever someone would walk by. Alexander really loved George Washington, and he sat down with Thomas and told him different fun facts about the man. They walked to the Lincoln Memorial after that, and by then it was too late to do much else so they headed back to the car.

 

“I got us a hotel for the night, is that okay?” Thomas asked. They had napped together once or twice, but never slept through the night together. The very idea put a big smile on Alexander’s face, and he said yes right away.

 

The hotel was gorgeous and Alexander had never felt so spoiled in his life. Their room had a gigantic king-sized bed and a view of the capitol from their window. 

 

They set all their luggage down and Alexander grabbed some pajamas and went to take a shower, Thomas telling him he could go first. It took him some courage but he came out in pajama pants and a t-shirt, clutching his clothes and binder in his arms. His face was red and he almost immediately got under the covers while Thomas went to shower.

 

His boyfriend came out of the bathroom wearing a t-shirt and fucking  _ boxer briefs _ , and Alexander just about lost his mind when he realized this was the least amount of clothes Thomas had ever worn in front of him. His heart was about to burst as Thomas slid under the covers with him and asked if he wanted to cuddle.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah.” Alexander nodded furiously, pushing himself right into Thomas’ arms. 

 

It didn’t take them long to fall asleep, and Alexander had never been more comfortable in his life as Thomas spooned him, his back pressed flush against his boyfriend’s chest, their legs entwined. He realized right before sleep overtook him that this was perfect, and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have Thomas. He was so, so in love.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thomas surprises alexander, then alexander surprises thomas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains sexual content!!

Alexander woke up facing Thomas, having turned over a few times in his sleep. He looked at his sleeping boyfriend’s face and smiled, cuddling closer to him and burying his face in his chest. The slight movement woke Thomas up as well, and he wrapped his arms around Alexander in response.

 

“Good morning, darlin’.” Thomas said sleepily, pressing a kiss to the top of Alexander’s head.

 

“Morning.” Alexander yawned, nuzzling Thomas and closing his eyes again. He could sleep for another hundred years he was so comfortable, but he knew they had to get up and get going.

 

They spent a few hours in the city, hitting up a few museums and monuments. Thomas promised Alexander they’d come back when they had more time, but Alexander was grateful enough just to be there.

 

They spent most of their time in the American History Museum, where Alexander harassed tour guides for not giving full stories and went off on several tangents in front of some tour groups. Thomas just went along with him and laughed, squeezing his hand when his feathers got too ruffled. It was charming to see Alexander so passionate, and Thomas could barely stop smiling.

 

It was only two more hours to Charlottesville, and they got there around six in the evening. Alexander couldn’t believe how big Thomas’ house was, but then again his family was filthy rich so he shouldn’t have been surprised. They were greeted at the door by Thomas’ mother, and Alexander realized upon meeting her in person that Thomas looked so much like her. She was also, much to Alexander’s chagrin, several inches taller than him.  _ Family of giants _ , he thought.

 

Jane gave both of them a big hug, warmly welcoming Alexander to the family and ushering them both inside. Alexander quickly met all of Thomas’ siblings, and it was a little overwhelming but they were all incredibly sweet and seemed to like Alexander a lot. Alexander had never seen Thomas so in his element, so happy. He really loved his family, and a part of Alexander was jealous but it was pushed from his mind when Jane told them that dinner was soon and that she hoped Alexander and Thomas would be joining them.

 

First the couple went up to Thomas’ room with their luggage, unpacking everything for their week-long stay. “I hope they aren’t too overwhelming.” Thomas said, and Alexander shook his head.

 

“They’re all really nice.” He laughed, and Thomas walked over to give him a hug.

 

Alexander pulled back a bit and looked up at Thomas, and god those big brown eyes would be the death of him someday.

 

“Thomas?”

 

“Yeah, baby?”

 

“I love you.” Alexander told him, his voice confident and sure, full of warmth.

 

A smile pulled at the corners of Thomas’ mouth, and in a moment he broke into a full on grin. 

 

“I love you too.”

 

The both of them were all smiles when they came downstairs for dinner, and Alexander had such a great time with Thomas and his family. He felt so welcome around them, so at home. He could get used to it.

 

They spent the next few days exploring Charlottesville, whether it be hitting up historical spots or shopping or walks at the park. Alexander swore he fell more and more in love with Thomas every day, although he was too embarrassed to say it again since the first time, unless Thomas said it first. He had so much fun, and by the time the week was over Alexander didn't want to leave. But he reminded himself this was hopefully just the first of many times he would visit Thomas’ family. 

 

They got back to the city late Saturday night, and there were of course no classes tomorrow so Alexander asked if he could sleep over at Thomas’ apartment. He was so attached to his boyfriend at the moment he probably would have slept over even if they had classes the next day.

 

It was around nine or ten o’clock that they finally got into pajamas, Alexander cuddling against Thomas under his warm comforter. He was fidgeting slightly as he always did when something was on his mind, and it didn't take long for Thomas to notice. 

 

“What's up, baby?” Thomas rubbed Alexander’s arm, worry apparent in his expression.

 

“I...uh…” Alexander laughed nervously and looked off to the side, avoiding Thomas’ gaze. “Nothing. Just thinking about something.”

 

“Oh yeah? What's that?”

 

“I can't say it.” Alexander shook his head and grasped at Thomas’ shirt. “You'll make fun of me.”

 

“Try me, Hamilton. Can't be any worse than that one time you started freaking out because your professor’s last name was Washington.”

 

“Okay, but he really is related to George Washington!”

 

“And you’re changing the subject.” Thomas grinned. 

 

Alexander huffed in frustration and sat up to look at Thomas, even though he couldn't see him too well with the light from the dim lamp on the nightstand. Thomas sat up a bit against the pillows, realizing this might actually be a serious conversation. 

 

“Can I ask you a question first?” Alexander’s voice was quiet, sounding so unsure of himself. Thomas of course told him yes, and he pursed his lips as he tried to get the words out. 

 

“Would you want to have sex with me? And—not right this second, just...I think I want to, I...I've been thinking about it.”

 

“Oh—” Thomas didn't expect that. They'd  _ never _ talked about having sex; in fact Thomas hadn't even considered it as an option. Sure he'd do that with Alexander in a split second, but he just didn't think he was interested in it. “I—Yeah. I would.”

 

“Oh.” Alexander turned red and looked down at his lap. “I'm just nervous, I just don’t have any experience and I don't want to be bad at it—And I don't want you to think of me differently…”

 

“Alexander, sweetheart, you know nothing is going to change the way I see you. And I don't want to have sex unless you're completely comfortable, okay?” 

 

“I am, I—” Alexander opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't get the words out. “Do you think we could—”

 

“What do you want, darlin’?”

 

“I just want...can you touch me?” Alexander thought his heart was going to explode at this point. “I—I wanna touch you, too—”

 

Thomas was surprised to hear all of this from Alexander but he nodded, pulling his boyfriend in for a kiss. They'd made out countless times before, and God was Alexander good with his tongue. (Maybe it was a good thing he talked so much.) They'd just never gone any further than that. 

 

“You want to keep your clothes on, baby?” Thomas asked in between kisses.

 

“Please, if I could…” Alexander felt guilty but he just was not comfortable with Thomas seeing him naked yet. No one had ever seen him naked and that probably scared him more than anything. He didn’t even like to look at himself naked.

 

“Yeah. It's okay.” Thomas kissed him again and in a few minutes Alexander was settled comfortably on his back against the pillows, Thomas’ lips pressed to his neck. He made sure not to leave any marks where they'd be seen, as was their rule when they had classes. Alexander didn't have his binder on so Thomas could pull his shirt aside and nip at more of his skin, leaving tiny love bites as he went. 

 

He slid his hand down Alexander’s side and across his hips, finally pressing against his crotch. Alexander tensed and Thomas went to pull his hand away, but Alexander  _ grabbed his hand _ and put it right back where it had been. “It's okay. I want this.” He assured Thomas.

 

Thomas didn't have any experience with anyone who was AFAB or on T either, so he was just as worried as Alexander about not being good at everything. He knew enough to know what to do, though, and he rubbed his palm against Alexander, who sighed softly and pushed his hips up into Thomas’ touch. 

 

“That's so nice.” Alexander said, his voice sounding almost surprised. 

 

“Do you ever touch yourself?” Thomas asked.

 

“No. I have a couple times but it just kind of freaked me out.” Alexander confessed, and Thomas finally understood what he meant when he said he had absolutely no experience. 

 

“God I'm gonna make you feel so good.” Thomas promised him, kissing his lips. He slowly slipped his hand into Alexander’s pajama pants, giving his boyfriend ample time to stop him if he wanted to. He didn't. 

 

With one less layer of clothing Thomas got a better feel for Alexander, pressing just two fingers against him now. He could feel how wet he was already through his underwear, but Alexander seemed to want more than that. He urged Thomas to push his pants and underwear down, and he even lifted up his hips to help him. After that Thomas’ hand slid against Alexander with no fabric in between, fingers wrapping around his clit and pumping it gently, causing Alexander to gasp and jerk his hips. 

 

It felt so different to have someone else touch him—he threw his hand over his mouth, nearly forgetting James was in the room across from them. “Oh God, Thomas…” 

 

“Is this okay?” Thomas slipped his fingers down to rub against his entrance, catching some of his wetness and working at his clit again. 

 

Alexander nodded. “Do you want me to touch you too?”

 

“No, darlin’, don't worry about that right now. I wanna make you feel good.”

 

Alexander felt his cheeks heat up and he relaxed as best he could, melting into Thomas’ touch. He was a writhing panting mess in no time, and eventually Thomas pressed a finger against his entrance, asking if it was okay.  _ Of fucking course it’s okay _ , Alexander thought, only managing a quick nod.

 

Thomas slid a finger inside him with no resistance whatsoever, and Alexander grabbed at the sheets with the hand that wasn't covering his own mouth. To his surprise, not being able to make noise made everything so much more intense. He bucked against Thomas’ hand as he curled his finger inside him, and he was so wet he hardly noticed when Thomas added another finger. 

 

“Thomas…” Alexander started to do the work on his own as he rolled his hips on Thomas’ hand, Thomas gazing down at him in awe. He was so into it. 

 

Alexander, as good as Thomas made him feel, proved to be difficult to bring to an orgasm and they were at it long enough for Thomas’ hand to cramp up. He didn't mind one bit, because when Alexander finally came he gasped and bit onto his fingers so he wouldn't cry out, arching off the bed and ultimately collapsing on the sheets. He was without a doubt the most beautiful thing Thomas had ever seen.

 

“You sound so pretty when you cum, baby.” Thomas leaned over him and pressed kisses to his neck, and Alexander whimpered, a complete puddle of sensations at the moment. He had never had an orgasm before, and he almost regretted not ever trying to give himself one. 

 

Thomas pulled his hand out of Alexander’s underwear and nonchalantly sucked his fingers into his mouth, Alexander’s cheeks dusted with a deep red as he watched his boyfriend taste him for the first time. 

 

“Do you need to take a shower, sweetheart?” Thomas asked after he let Alexander catch his breath. 

 

“Yeah…” Alexander said, feeling bad that he had to be the center of attention, but still appreciating it. 

 

Thomas helped him out of bed (he could barely walk, his legs felt like pudding) to the bathroom and swore on his life to close his eyes as he helped Alexander undress. Alexander gave him a kiss on the lips before hopping in the shower, so exhausted he felt like he might fall over any moment. 

 

Alexander came out of the bathroom in a t-shirt and boxers, and the second he met Thomas’ gaze he pursed his lips, trying to hold back a smile. He crawled into bed and curled up next to him, Thomas wrapping his arms tight around him. Thomas whispered that he loved him, and Alexander returned the words in kind. He found himself falling asleep in a few minutes, Thomas following soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've realized how much i've drawn from my own experiences throughout this whole fic, it's really helped me with the storyline. i guess being a sad gay trans kid is cool sometimes. hope y'all are enjoying this gay shit!!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a surprise party. alexander and thomas are both goofy idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not super proud of this chapter but i haven't been able to get it right. mention of sexual content in this chapter, smut is next. beware ;)

Waking up late into a Sunday morning in Thomas Jefferson’s arms was not something Alexander had ever seen himself doing at the beginning of this school year, but it was the most content he had ever felt in his life. He looked up at Thomas who was still fast asleep, his face so peaceful and so damn handsome. He could hardly believe this man was his boyfriend,  _ his _ , and he was Thomas’ too. He loved him more than anything in the world and he was so happy that they had each other. 

 

Alexander snuggled closer to Thomas, breathing slowly and considering going back to sleep. He didn't know what time it was but he knew he'd probably gotten more sleep than usual. Alexander was lucky if he got more than five hours most of the time. 

 

He had just started to drift off again when Thomas stirred, pulling away from Alexander a bit which elicited a frustrated huff from the smaller man. 

 

“Morning darlin’.” Thomas said as he stretched his legs out, pulling Alexander right back into his embrace when he was done. “You just wake up?”

 

“Yeah, a little bit ago.”

 

“Watching me sleep?”

 

“You always look so handsome when you're sleeping.” Alexander smiled and nuzzled Thomas’ neck, pressing a few soft kisses to his skin. 

 

“You gotta go home today, huh?” Thomas said, starting to sit up and pull Alexander with him. 

 

“Yeah. School tomorrow.” Alexander chuckled. 

 

“Hey, Alexander?” 

 

Alexander looked up at his boyfriend curiously.

 

Do you think someday maybe home’ll be with me?” Thomas asked softly, an honest question. 

 

“Yes.” Alexander replied without hesitation, along with a small nod of his head and a firm kiss to Thomas’ lips. He had certainly already thought about living with Thomas, it probably just wasn’t feasible until Alexander was out of school and working.

 

Alexander went home a few hours later, all smiles as usual as he unlocked the door. He was immediately greeted with a huge hug by John, who was asking him all about his trip—not that Alexander hadn't told him everything and sent him pictures already. Everything seemed to be back to normal, and John was so happy for Alexander. Alexander in turn asked him how the week went with the guys. 

 

He ended up spending the whole day with his best friend, the both of them eventually falling asleep on John’s little bed together, John cuddled up against Alexander. It had been ages since they slept in the same bed but Alexander was never uncomfortable around John. 

 

March went by in the blink of an eye, and every day seemed to get better. April 13 was Thomas’ birthday, and James was throwing him a party at their apartment—a party which, to Alexander's surprise, James had asked for his help with. Planning it had been fun and he and James had gotten along well enough, albeit some minor disagreements on budgeting for party supplies.

 

It was a surprise party, and unfortunately it was on a Saturday so it would be harder to surprise Thomas if he were at home all day. That's where Alexander came in, of course. 

 

He had invited Thomas out for lunch and Alexander walked all the way to his apartment to pick him up. The first reaction he got was “You cut off all your hair!” and Alexander wasn't sure if Thomas was upset or not because he may have forgotten to tell his boyfriend he was going to get his hair cut, but then Thomas’ hands were in his hair and he was babbling about how handsome he looked. 

 

“You came all the way here to get me?” Thomas squeezed Alexander’s hand. 

 

“Yeah, we’re going out to lunch. My treat. Are you ready to go?”

 

“Let me grab my wallet and we can go.” Thomas gave him a kiss and ran to grab his wallet from his room, and after that they were out the door and walking through the city. They made their way down Broadway to a cute little French café Alexander had stumbled upon last week. They held hands the whole way, and every once in a while one of them would catch the other staring as they went.

 

Lunch was wonderful and Thomas would hardly ever let go of Alexander’s hand. He couldn’t stop talking about how much he loved him and how happy he was. Alexander huffed and puffed, getting all flustered right there in the restaurant. At one point when the server came over to check on them, Alexander had to press his forehead to the table to hide his red cheeks.

 

Alexander paid for them both of course, and they left the cafe with the biggest smiles on their faces. They were both so giddy that day. Thomas told him it was already the best birthday he’d ever had.

 

They walked back to Thomas’ place when Alexander got the okay from James. “Got anything else special planned for me?” Thomas asked as they walked, but Alexander refused to disclose any information. 

 

When everyone surprised Thomas at the apartment, he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. He’d never had a surprise party before. He gave Alexander a kiss on the lips and hugged everyone so tight, especially James. “Your idea, Jemmy? You big sap.” He planted a big smooch on James’ cheek and his friend pushed him away, flustered.

 

Thomas went to go change his clothes because he felt way too underdressed for a party. Alexander grabbed a drink and hung out in the living room with everyone, sitting next to Eliza and Lafayette on the couch. Lafayette and the guys were (Alexander was pretty sure) already a little tipsy, and it was obvious this party was going to be a wild ride.

 

Thomas opened his presents before everyone got too drunk. Alexander had gotten him an engraved picture frame with a picture from when they went to DC together and a (per Thomas’ request) forty dollars worth of boxed macaroni and cheese. Thomas almost cried when he opened them, and Alexander wasn’t sure if it was because of the picture frame or macaroni or both.

 

The party was such a good time, and Alexander didn’t even drink that much. He wanted to keep his wits about him so he could spend time with Thomas after everyone had left, which was around six or seven. Alexander had asked James in advance if they could have the apartment to themselves for the evening, to which the man agreed without any reluctance. Thomas closed the door and locked it once the last person had left, and he exhaled a sigh and turned to Alexander who was snuggled up against the arm of the couch.

 

“You staying?” Thomas smiled, already on his way to the couch to wiggle his way in between Alexander’s legs, where he rest his head in his boyfriend’s lap. 

 

“Unless you wanna kick me out.” Alexander ran his hands through Thomas’ hair and massaged his scalp gently, Thomas humming in approval. 

 

“No way. Especially not if Jemmy’s out of the house. Did you ask him to leave?” Thomas looked up at Alexander. 

 

“Maybe I did.”

 

They had been lucky enough to get the house to themselves a few times the past month, and whenever they did they would stumble into Thomas’ bedroom, sometimes not even bothering to lock the door. They hadn’t done much besides mostly using their hands, and Alexander still wouldn’t let Thomas see him naked. They usually would do it with the lights off, but Alexander didn’t have to see Thomas’ dick in broad daylight to know it was huge. He had thought about when they would finally have sex, and it made him a little nervous because he didn’t expect it to fit inside him comfortably.  

 

Thomas had told Alexander countless times that he impressed him with how natural everything came to him, including the one time he built up the courage to give him a blowjob—to Thomas, nothing was better than fumbling around in the dark with the love of his life. It was fun. Alexander always felt bad not letting Thomas see him, but Thomas insisted he wait until he was ready.

 

“What did you have planned?” Thomas asked, sitting up and looking at his boyfriend with a knowing smile. He didn’t need to ask. Alexander just stood and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him up and off the couch and down the hall to Thomas’ bedroom.

 

Alexander pushed him into the room and shut the door, turning toward him with a little grin. He wanted to use this small burst of confidence as much as possible before it ran out. “Thomas. I wanna have sex. Right now.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is my pride and joy. i'm so happy with it. it's 100% smut, sugary sweet, lovey dovey bullshit. thank you for reading. maybe one or two chapters left!

Thomas’ mouth hung open in shock for a moment, but he certainly wasn’t going to turn his boyfriend down, especially when he had been thinking about this for weeks. It was his turn to pull Alexander by the hand now, over to the bed, laying him down on the blankets and crawling on top of him to attack his face and neck with loving kisses.

 

“You’re sure, darlin’?” Thomas asked, pulling back to look down into his boyfriend’s brown eyes. He knew how big of a deal this was, especially for Alexander since it would be his first time. He wanted him to be sure.

 

“Yes.” Alexander said firmly, tangling his fingers in Thomas’ hair, urging his boyfriend to continue.

 

“...Do you think if I give you a hickey it’ll fade by Monday?” Thomas grinned against Alexander’s skin, flicking his tongue out to tease him.

 

“No. But I don’t care. You can.” Alexander assured him, and in a split second he was tensing slightly, wrapping an arm around Thomas as he sucked a mark into the sensitive skin of his neck.

 

Alexander helped Thomas unbutton his shirt and he threw it across the room somewhere, always in awe of his boyfriend’s chest. Of course he was a little jealous, but it also made him happy that a man this gorgeous was all his. He slid a hand up Thomas’ chest, making a little comment about how he loved his chest hair which made Thomas giggle. 

 

Thomas gently touched the hem of Alexander’s t-shirt, and Alexander immediately nodded to give his consent. Thomas pulled the shirt over his head, and he hesitated when Alexander told him it was okay to take his binder off too. 

 

“Are you sure?” 

 

“Yeah. I want to.” Alexander insisted, and Thomas pressed a kiss to his lips. 

 

“If you get uncomfortable just tell me, baby.” Thomas told him, carefully helping Alexander out of his binder and tossing it aside, leaving him with a lovely view of Alexander’s chest.

 

“Oh, Alexander, you’re so handsome…” Thomas told him, wanting to touch but not sure if he was allowed to. Alexander answered his silent question by nervously grabbing his hand and guiding it to his chest. Alexander was a little sensitive from wearing his binder all day, so Thomas kept his touches light and didn’t squeeze or press too hard. 

 

“Look at you.” Thomas purred. 

 

Alexander was on the smaller side so his breasts weren’t that big, but they were enough that he wanted to wear a binder 24/7. He thought they were hideous, but Thomas’ words made his heart pound.

 

Thomas refocused his attention on kissing Alexander, slowly bringing his hand down to slip into his jeans, Alexander gasping when Thomas pressed against his clit, wrapping two fingers around it and pumping slowly, the contact barely enough for him. 

 

Alexander reached over to press his palm against Thomas’ crotch, and he caught his boyfriend’s gaze as he went. Thomas couldn't help but kiss him again, Alexander pushing his tongue into his mouth.

 

Thomas pulled away after a few moments so he could help Alexander out of his pants, and after a few more “Are you  _ sure _ ?”s, his little green boxer briefs. Seeing Alexander like this, knowing he trusted Thomas unconditionally, transcended the best birthday present ever. This was like ten best birthday presents in one. 

 

“I love you.” Thomas said immediately, overwhelmed, and Alexander covered his face with both hands. 

 

“Don't stare.”

 

Thomas gently slid his hand down Alexander's side, petting through the thick brown curls at his crotch. This was his first time really getting to see while he touched, and he just couldn't stop staring. He brought his fingers to Alexander’s clit again, but the touch was fleeting and Alexander whined when he pulled away. Thomas pushed two fingers inside him instead, grinning and making sure to remind Alexander how wet he was.

 

Alexander spread his legs for Thomas as his big fingers slid in and out of him, rolling his hips into the sensation. He loved when Thomas fingered him. Thomas loved it just as much, because Alexander was so  _ loud _ (provided they were alone in the apartment) and he got so wet and so into it, more so than anyone he'd ever been with. Just touching Alexander and seeing his reactions was enough to get Thomas hard. 

 

“Can I suck you off?” Thomas asked, and his choice of words made Alexander feel warm. 

 

“Yeah. Yeah.” Alexander nodded, watching as Thomas immediately scooted down to wrap his lips around his clit, two digits still thrusting inside him. 

 

“Oh God, Thomas, please—” Alexander grasped at his boyfriend’s hair with a sound almost like a squeak, the sensation completely new to him and  _ oh  _ that felt so much better than just fingers. He didn't have any other experience to compare it to but Thomas seemed like he was really good at this. 

 

Thomas laved his tongue up Alexander’s pussy, bobbing his head on his clit when he reached the top. His head was filled with nothing but thoughts of the man before him, Alexander, the man he loved more than anything in the world. He wanted nothing else right now but to make Alexander feel good and show him how special he was.

 

Alexander tried to buck his hips up but Thomas pressed his hip down firmly with one hand, pulling away to tell him he couldn't. “Be a good boy, okay darlin’?” He asked, and Alexander melted. 

 

“Mm...do you want m—do you want me to suck you off too?” Alexander asked, struggling to speak without cutting himself off with a moan. 

 

“Baby if you do that we might not get any further.” Thomas laughed, and Alexander blushed. Thomas was already that close just from this?

 

“Then come on.” Alexander urged him, impatience showing through in his tone of voice, sitting up a bit to grab his pants from the edge of the bed. He pulled out a condom and Thomas applauded him for being more prepared than he was. 

 

Alexander helped Thomas out of his pants now, teasingly touching his cock through his boxers for just a minute before pulling them off as well. He opened the condom packet and rolled it onto Thomas’ cock, his heart pounding at the sight of him. He really was huge.

 

_ That’s going inside me,  _ Alexander thought in awe,  _ I'm gonna make that fit inside me if it's the last thing I do. _

 

“How do you wanna do it, baby?” Thomas asked, rubbing the inside of Alexander’s thigh. “What are you comfortable with?”

 

“Can I ride you?” Alexander asked right away, and Thomas answered his question by laying back on the bed, gently brushing Alexander’s hip with his hand. 

 

“C’mere Alexander.” Thomas said, beckoning him with both hands. Alexander wriggled his way into Thomas’ lap, and after a moment of nervous hesitation he was lifting his hips up and guiding Thomas’ cock inside him. 

 

Alexander went still as the tip breached his entrance, and Thomas rubbed shapes into his hips and asked him if he was alright. Alexander nodded, but it was a while before he responded aloud. 

 

“Yeah…” He let out a heavy breath and looked down. “It’s just a lot…” 

 

He could feel Thomas stretching him open in every direction and it didn't quite hurt, it was just  _ so much _ at once. 

 

“Take your time, baby.” Thomas reached to lightly touch Alexander’s clit to relax him. 

 

Sure enough after a couple minutes Alexander sunk further down onto his boyfriend’s cock, whimpering when he finally bottomed out. He could feel every inch inside him, and he'd never been so overwhelmed in his life. 

 

Now, Alexander Hamilton threw fits more often than most twenty year old economics students, but he almost never cried. The last time he cried had to have been when he found out Thomas had lied to him. Before that, he had no idea. Now Thomas was making him cry again, but not for a negative reason this time, no—but because Alexander was so overwhelmed with love for the man that was  _ inside of him _ , finally one with him. He blinked hard a few times and wiped the tears from his eyes.

 

“Hey, hey, Alexander—what's wrong baby? Does it hurt?” Thomas started to panic, reaching up to hold his love’s face in his hands. 

 

Alexander shook his head, Thomas wiping the tears from his eyes with his thumbs. 

 

“I just love you. I love you so much.” Alexander sputtered, nuzzling against one of Thomas’ hands. “I love you, Thomas.”

 

Thomas teared up a bit as he replied, relieved he wasn’t hurting his boyfriend. He felt his heartbeat pound in his throat as he stared into Alexander’s eyes, so full of adoration and unconditional love. Thomas felt the same. “I love you too, Alexander.”

 

Alexander dipped down and hid his face in Thomas’ neck, slowly starting to roll his hips. He exhaled a very shaky gasp as he tried out a few things, moving his hips different ways to see what felt the best. The sensation was so new, that wonderful feeling of being full, and Alexander wished it could last forever.

 

Thomas didn’t want to seem impatient but he squeezed Alexander’s hip gently, making a soft noise that Alexander seemed to understand, because he pulled away and lifted his hips to start bouncing on Thomas’ cock. He worked into a steady rhythm, the position allowing him to take Thomas in deeper and deeper. He threw his head back and groaned, Thomas holding his hips to support him as he moved. 

 

Alexander’s eyes were glazed over, seemingly off in a different world. He looked down at Thomas as he slammed his hips down on his cock, the obscene sound of his skin slapping against Thomas’ keeping his face perpetually red. He grabbed both of Thomas’ hands and entwined their fingers.

 

“Does it feel good?” Alexander asked as he slowed his movements, wanting to make sure he wasn’t the only one who was drowning in pleasure. Thomas nearly cut him off with a loud moan of his name.

 

“Yes, of course it feels good—”

 

“Can we try something else?”

 

“Yeah...what do you wanna do darlin’?” Thomas propped himself up a bit more on his elbows, looking at where they were connected and relishing in the feeling of how warm Alexander felt around him.

 

“Can I lay on my back?” 

 

“Of course.”

 

Alexander slowly lifted himself off Thomas and got comfortable against the pillows, while Thomas sat up to hover over top of him. He hiked Alexander’s knees up and slipped back inside him, both of them moaning from the new position. 

 

Alexander’s hands flew up to wrap around Thomas’ shoulders, trying in vain not to scratch with his nails. Thomas sure as hell didn't mind—the sting of Alexander’s nails raking down his back made everything all the more intense. 

 

“You can move.” Alexander said, craning his neck just a bit to kiss Thomas.

 

Thomas nodded and pushed his hips forward, and he swore every second they kept going it felt even better. He touched Alexander’s clit (which had his boyfriend squirming all over the place) as he worked into his own rhythm, not too fast just yet. He pushed his cock deep inside him with each thrust, though, and Alexander could not keep his mouth shut, moan after moan spilling from his lips like he'd forgotten how to speak. 

 

Thomas wrapped his arms around Alexander’s thighs, holding him tight as he sped up his thrusts, telling Alexander how close he was already. Alexander nodded, at least letting Thomas know he had heard him. “Mm—Do it inside…” He said, and Thomas had no complaints there. 

 

Alexander didn't think Thomas could thrust any deeper than he already was, but when he started to speed up he could've sworn that wasn't the case. Thomas kissed him, swearing to Alexander that he loved him more than anything in this world, and in just a few minutes he reached his peak and came inside Alexander, his whole body shaking. 

 

Alexander looked up at his boyfriend in awe and reached up to grab his face and kiss him. Thomas returned the kiss in earnest, working in a few more slow thrusts before pulling out. 

 

Alexander whined and pushed his hips up off the bed, frustrated from the loss of contact. Thomas pulled the condom off his cock and got up to throw it away, but not even twenty seconds later was he back on the bed in between Alexander’s legs. 

 

Alexander was  _ so wet _ , and he watched in awe as Thomas licked up his pussy with the flat of his tongue. He kept eye contact with Alexander until his eyes fluttered closed so he could focus on sucking at his clit. 

 

Thomas slipped three fingers back inside him and Alexander nearly screamed, and as hard as it usually was to get him to orgasm, he was cumming on Thomas’ fingers in a few minutes. His hips jerked, then his whole body, hands grasping at the sheets desperately as he moaned Thomas' name out loud. 

 

Alexander’s mind was hazy but he watched Thomas suck his fingers into his mouth, cleaning them off before laying down next to Alexander and pulling him into his arms. Alexander’s entire body felt like pudding, and all he could do was lay there in Thomas’ embrace as he recovered from his orgasm.

 

Once he regained his strength enough to move, Alexander nuzzled Thomas’ chest, pressing lazy kisses to his skin. He made a soft noise, something like a whimper, and Thomas rubbed at the small of his back. “You okay?”

 

“No. I wanna do it again but I’m too tired.” Alexander admitted, and Thomas laughed softly, carding his fingers through Alexander’s soft hair. 

 

“I think you can wait until next time.” Thomas said. Alexander sighed happily at the thought of  _ next time.  _ And all the times after that.

 

Alexander outright refused to leave the bed unless Thomas carried him, and to his surprise his boyfriend scooped him right up and carried him to the bathroom. He asked if it was okay if they showered together, and Alexander nodded and clung to him even more. Thomas had to hold him up while they showered, his legs still wobbly, and once they were out and dressed in comfier clothes, they traveled out to the living room to watch some bad Netflix movie. 

 

When James came back home, he found the couple passed out on the couch together. He shook his head and turned the TV off, along with the main light in the living room. He grabbed a blanket and threw it over Alexander and Thomas, and he couldn’t help but smile seeing the two like this. He may not have gotten along well with Alexander most of the time, but he knew how happy he made Thomas, and that’s what mattered most to him.


End file.
